I Don't Like Goals

When I was in middle school, every few months, we would do goal setting. They would pull out these special workbooks and hand them out to us and we could look at the goals we had set the last session, and set new goals.

I never understood the process. Oh, I understood the procedure of it, SMART goals, and break it down, and commit, but I never understood why I needed to set goals. They never explained that part. What does a middle schooler even want? Better grades?

At the end of the session, we would return the workbooks and the teachers would hide them away in some cupboard and I’d forget about the goals I had been made to set until the next time.

Setting goals for the sake of setting goals doesn’t work for me. I like understanding why we are doing it, how is this going to help me, and I have to really believe in the goal in order to make any progress on it.

Looking back, I understand what they were trying to teach us, but all I learnt was you set goals because the forces that be say so.

I think that’s part of why so many people never accomplish their New Year’s resolutions. We are all told that this is when we start again, this is when we try to make a new life for ourselves. New year, new me.

But, remember, everyday is the first day of the rest of your life.

Setting goals because someone tells you that’s the only way to achieve anything isn’t going to work if it’s not something you actually care about. Do you really care about getting in shape this year, or is it ‘the thing everyone wants’? Is it a true desire, or is it the fitness industry telling you that NOW is the best time to get fit with their endless ads and societal pressure?

Setting goals for the sake of setting a goal is only going to work if you have the discipline already to make it happen. And, if you already have that discipline, do you need it to be January first to decide you need to make a change?

I’m not saying that thinking about goals isn’t useful. Breaking your goal into bite sized chunks with a reasonable timeline is important, but if I start thinking of them as goals or projects or anything like that, my desire to do them fades away. It feels like too much work.

Maybe it’s because goals are so focused on the outcome. Getting fit, getting better grades, it’s the future. It’s not tangible. You only see the result after days and weeks and months of work, and then achieving your goal is supposed to be a reward?

I don’t get it. I achieve a goal and I feel almost numb to it. I’ve heard this might be related to ADHD, but I’m not sure. All I know is if I’m not enjoying the process of reaching my goal, I’m not going to do it.