Coffee Shops and the power of the Third Place

Before my office job, I worked at a Starbucks for 5 years. Working there changed me — and I don’t just mean they gave me a coffee addiction, though I certainly learnt about my caffeine tolerances and the effect it has on me.

One of the things I learned there was the idea of the “Third Place”. According to wikipedia:

In sociology, the third place refers to the social surroundings that are separate from the two usual social environments of home ("first place") and the workplace ("second place").
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place#:~:text=In%20sociology%2C%20the%20third%20place,(%22second%20place%22).

One of Starbucks’ explicit goals was to be that third place for people, and they succeed at it pretty well. You walk into any Starbucks and the seats are taken with students, or moms or even people having a more casual business meetings, all gathering around a coffee for a bit of social time.

Today, I work from home, so I don’t see my colleagues much, and talking on Teams isn’t the same as have spontaneous social interactions. My “Second Place” has shrunk. I imagine that’s the same for a lot of people.

Even pre-pandemic, there was a concern that more people were lonely and feeling isolated, and the health implications of that loneliness. During the pandemic, by necessity, a lot of people turned to the internet to help them keep in touch with friends and family, and to find connection with others.

I’m not a social person. Or, rather, I both enjoy being alone and find it challenging to maintain relationships. Having a full social calendar, like over the holiday season, is overwhelming, especially when I didn’t get any time off for the holidays to take care of things like baking, and plans weren’t made or were changed at the last minute.

All this to say, I need a third place to go to where I can be around people, even if I don’t interact with them. I like being in a space where people are, and I can get a yummy drink and a snack, and I can work or plan or read or draw or people watch. I like sitting among the students and the moms and friends catching up and feeling part of a community, even if I’m not actively engaged in any of it.

Today, it’s snowing a lot, and I’m stuck at home. I’m antsy, having not left the house in a few days for more than a quick walk to get the mail. There’s a Starbucks a 30ish minute walk away, but none of the sidewalks will be clear, or I could hop on a bus and head downtown, but the roads are a mess and there won’t be any plows out.

Days like today, I really wish there was a coffee shop nearby, somewhere I could go and sit for 20 minutes and just be. It would be even better if there was somewhere like that where I could just be and not worry about spending money, like a library, but the nearest one to me is even more awkward to get to, especially when the snow has piled up and walking isn’t a good idea.

I can try to make my home have that cafe feeling, but it’s still just an apartment, and it’s still just me here.

Third places are important, and if we don’t have them, how are we supposed to connect?